Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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