His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize