I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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