We're facebook friends in real life
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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