i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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