Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
