he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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