i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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