I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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