i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
