if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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