Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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