i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
