i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
