All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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