Sry I called you an 8
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
