well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
