i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
