Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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