Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just want to make out with him forever
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize