we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
