all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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