it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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