I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
