still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
