I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
