how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
