Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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