Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize