My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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