We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
