At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
