Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
