someone get that fucking seahorse.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
