When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
