Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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