this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
