she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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