Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
