You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
how drunk are you?
Several
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
