Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
