i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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