I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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