DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
