it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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