What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
