please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
