I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
