I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
