Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
