i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
