He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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