my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
