so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize