now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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