Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
