i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
